Scripts Currently Available:
written by Philip Lester
Description
Set during the final dress rehearsal of Hamlet by the Robert Armin Players, in a temporary theatrical venue in Chicago, 1946. A clear homage to the Bard of Avon, everyone will enjoy this funny, creative plot twister. (A Murder Mystery with an opportunity to guess the murderer. Although scripted to be set in the 1940's, it can be adapted to many different time periods.)
Timeline - The 1940's
The actual show runs about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Adding in the time necessary
for the serving of an optional appetizer course, salad, dinner, and dessert, and any other activities
built into the show, the evening runs up to 2 1/2 hours after the start of the show.
Setting (Sample)
"Murder: Stage Right" takes place during the final dress rehearsal of Hamlet by the Robert Armin Players, in a temporary theatrical venue in Chicago, 1946. As the audience enters, they are informed by the mingling actors that they are returning from the last intermission of Hamlet. 1940's music is playing. At one end of the room is an open space with two thrones. Programs with actor's biographies are on the tables.
Script (Samples)
MAX: what? Dead? For real? You see? Quoting from Macbeth - oh no! Now i've said it! I'll be right back!
BRUCE: What's he on about?
HAROLD: An old theatre superstition. If you quote Macbeth, it's supposed to bring bad luck - you've never heard that?
JACQUES: I was curious about that myself. When you said the scottish play, I thought you meant "Brigadoon." Tres bien. And you, madame, what is your name?
ANATHEA: Anathea Ashton, Of The Tournwell Ashtons, Southampton, Great Britain.
JAQUES: Madame Ashton. And how long have you known the deceased?
ANATHEA: I was married to him for eleven years!
JAQUES: So you are his widow?
ANATHEA: Wardly. We were divorced six years ago.
JAQUES: Oh, I see. It was a happy marriage?
ANATHEA: YES, AT FIRST.
JAQUES: AH, how long did that last?
ANATHEA: Two weeks. That's as long as he could stay faithful.
HAROLD: That's actually pretty good, considering your record.
ANATHEA: OH, do shut up!
Characters (may be played with as few as 7 actors)
- John Barryless / Hamlet Alcoholic and bitter. Too old to be playing Hamlet.
- Anathea Ashton / Gertrude Pompous English theater diva who's been around a while.
- Rex Lexington / Laertes Silky voiced, good looking, ambitious actor. Always "on stage."
- Priscilla Wynewright / Osric Beautiful, spoiled, whiny actress. There's a hundred like her.
- Bruce Billingsley / Horatio Always doing impressions. An "odd duck" who can't act.
- Harold Faber / Claudius Nervous accountant-type who eavesdrops. What has he overheard?
- Max Von Kugelschreiber Flamboyant German director - But something's just not right.
- Lulu Truegrip Young, tom-boyish stage manager. Shy and scared, but a smart cookie.
- Inspector Jacques Cloules More clever than Clouseau, but with the same accent.
- Policeman Stereotypical tough guy Chicago cop.
written by Steven Biggs and Michael Coleman
music and lyrics by Steven Biggs and Michael Coleman
Description
A spoof of and a tribute to the Master of Suspense, relying on 50's and 60's prototypes of Hitchcock characters -- from seedy low-lifes, to elegant criminals, to the "innocent" Midwestern honeymooners. A comedy mystery, an audience participation free-for-all, and an intricately plotted performance piece. (A Murder Mystery with an opportunity to guess the murderer.)
Timeline - The 1950's
The actual show runs about 1 hour and 30 minutes. Adding in the time necessary
for the serving of an optional appetizer course, salad, dinner, and dessert, and any other activities
built into the show, the evening runs up to 2 1/2 hours after the start of the show.
Setting (Sample)
PRESHOW:
As the audience enters, we see the body of Harry Granger still seated at the blackjack table. He is surrounded by a chalk or tape outline which starts on the table top and continues down the stool and onto the floor. A yellow "Police Line" ("POLICE -- NE PAS TRAVERSER") ribbon divides the table in two. On the half of the table in front of Granger, we see the table as it was when the murder took place. There is a spilt cocktail glass, a "Welcome to Monaco" tourist guide booklet, the playing cards of Truffaut and Granger, betting chips, and the dealer's hand and deck. Observant guests may also notice a red sore on Granger's left wrist.
Script (Sample)
TRUFFAUT
I have you trapped. You can get away with nothing here tonight. Or ever -- as long as you remain in Monte Carlo! I...WILL...DOG...YOU! I will be a Javert to your Valjean. A Sherlock Holmes to your Professor Moriarty. A Tom to your Jerry!
LEHMAN
Look, Inspector Truffle...
TRUFFAUT
Truffaut!
LEHMAN
Whatever. I don't know anything about this C.K. Grant of yours. I'm just an American tourist on what was supposed to be a romantic honeymoon vacation. So why don't you go arrest a jaywalker and leave me and my wife alone.
[Truffaut is about to say something else. Anthony intercepts him.]
ANTHONY
Claude, you really have been working too hard. Why don't you go wash up? You're starting to smell a little...French. (Truffaut storms off. To the Lehmans:)
Characters (may be played with as few as 7 actors)
- Harry Granger - Dead
- Inspector Claude Truffaut French policeman who's read too many Hercule Poirot mysteries.
- James Anthony English Owner of the Cafe Le Chat. But is he on the right side of the law?
- Rebecca DuMaurier French Chanteuse of the Cafe. Beautiful with a volcanic temper.
- Hermann Waxman German blackjack dealer, trying hard to look slick.
- Eva Santa Maria Italian bar maid with a heart of gold . . . maybe.
- Doris Lehman Innocent American honeymooner. Good-humored with lots of spunk.
- Alfred Lehman American driving instructor from your town. Recently married to Doris.
- Uncle Morty Loud, obnoxious, but good-natured New Yorker. Everyone's favorite uncle.
written by Julia McDowell, Michael McKay, and Mignonne Profant
music and lyrics by Julia McDowell and Dale Leaman
Description
Stocks are flying high and so are you in the dining room of the "Colossus," the largest and most luxurious dirigible ever built, about to depart from Tangier, Morocco. Set on New Year's Eve, 1928, this murder mystery party immediately gives guests a reason to celebrate any time of year, but also eludes to the impending doom associated with 1929. Everyone is immersed in witty dialogue, intricate plots, and carefree countdowns to the New Year's celebration. Four different possible endings chosen in advance. (A Murder Mystery with an opportunity to guess the murderer.)
Timeline - December 31st, 1928
The actual show runs about 1 hour and 30 minutes. Adding in the time necessary
for the serving of an optional appetizer course, salad, dinner, and dessert, and any other activities
built into the show, the evening runs up to 2 1/2 hours after the start of the show.
Setting (Sample)
PRESHOW:
8:00 pm New Year's Eve 1928. Stocks are flying high and so are you in the dining room of the "Colossus," the largest and most luxurious dirigible ever built, about to depart from Tangier, Morocco. At one end is the entrance through which the passengers (audience) have entered. At the other end of the dining room is the exit used to access "center ship" which includes the passengers' staterooms, crew's quarters, and the bridge and navigation room. Crew can access the cargo hold from either entrance/exit. At one side of the room is a small stage with a 20's style microphone. Next to the stage is Fingers' piano. In the center of the room is a gaming table and a couple of chairs. Games include mahjongg, playing cards, dominoes, Ouiji board, and cribbage. On the gaming table are several silver trays and utensils. Next to the gaming table is a tea cart with bar setup.
Script (Sample)
Roscoe: [Interrupting] It's the curse. [Referring to Chekhov] You let dis [referring to Winston] screwy Egypt nut bring his cursed stuff on da boat and it sank. And now they brought that hoodoo here. [Grabs Chekhov's shoulders and shakes him ] We're all gonna die!
Yefscott: Get your filthy paws off me!
Zelda: If we're all going to die, let's have fun on the way down.
Winston: I don't want to die, even if we are having fun.
Yefscott: You sniveling coward.
Dash: [To Winston] Don't worry. If you die, we'll bring you back at the seance tomorrow night.
CiCi: Ladies and gentlemen, we are not going to die. Senor Chekhov you are the master builder, please reassure the passengers.
Yefscott: Da. [To Roscoe, while mauling female audience member] You needlessly concern these beautiful people. My design is flawless.
Dash: [Sarcastically] Well, I'm reassured.
Yefscott: The one little difficulty is we have only enough life jackets and parachutes for [scanning audience members] half of you.
Clara: That's two difficulties.
Characters (may be played with as few as 7 actors)
- Rex Randolph Barrington President of the Blue Star Line. Missing.
- Dash Hunter Early Humphrey Bogart style detective. A real maverick gumshoe.
- CiCi Pile Argentinean. Hot blooded event organizer. Loves a good seance and a stiff drink.
- Rosco Malone Brooklyn born stevedore. Gung-ho to unionize the Blue Star Line.
- Clara Beaumont Girl Friday journalist. Seems to know too much about everything.
- Zelda Montgomery Typical English flapper of the 20s. More intelligent than she lets on.
- Yefscott Tolstoyevsky Chekov Russian. There isn't a big enough blimp to hold his ego.
- Winston Montgomery III Archealogist. Zelda's paranoid, whining, foppish English brother.
- Abergavenny Shadowy character of vague Indian descent.
- Fitz Ever the long suffering proper English manservant.
- Captain Gerald Captain of the airship Colossus.
written by Michael McKay and Julia McDowell
music and lyrics by Julia McDowell
Description
Dwight and Mamie Van der Hogan, convinced they've won the $11 Million Dollar Pigeon Publishing Sweepstakes because the envelope said "You're Guaranteed to be a Winner," sell everything in Wisconsin and come to your town with their crazy entourage, buy a yacht on credit (the check hasn't arrived yet??) and invite you to the going away party for their 'Round the World Cheese Tour. Of course, since they know no one in your town to invite to their party, you have graciously offered to share your event with the Van der Hogans for a fabulous combo bash! (A Murder Mystery with an opportunity to guess the murderer. Can also include a find-the-movie-title hunt to discover all the movie titles buried within the script.)
Timeline - The 1980's, 1990's or the Present
The actual show runs about 1 hour and 30 minutes. Adding in the time necessary
for the serving of an optional appetizer course, salad, dinner, and dessert, and any other activities
built into the show, the evening runs up to 2 1/2 hours after the start of the show.
Setting (Sample)
Bad late-70's music is playing. Also in the room is a "gift" table with presents on it. On the dinner tables are copies of the Upper Midland Crier, Movie Name Game Sheets, and pencils. Yellow tape outlines the space in the center of the room where yesterday evening a waitress was killed. A closed gym bag sits on a small "crime" table near outline. The crime table and two chairs are also surrounded by police tape. On the crime table is a wine glass lying on its side, red wine staining the white tablecloth, several pieces of half-eaten cheese and fruit on a small plate, and remnants of the waitress' sidework from the night before.
Script (Sample)
Nicky: Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention one last time please. I give up; I've tried all night, but no one seems to know the password.
Kiki: Do you mean Swordfish?
Nicky: How do you know the Password?
Kiki: I am the one who called in the insurance fraud.
Dwight: Kiki, how could you?
Kiki: I couldn't. (Rips off wig, now in manly voice) But I could.
Dwight: Jean Clod!
JeanClod: That's right.
Dwight: What have you done with Kiki?
JeanClod: Kiki is me, and I am she, and we are all together, koo koo kachoo. Furthermore, I am (we are) the long-lost illegitimate grandson of Ellard Horton. You killed my grandfather! Prepare to die.
Dwight: What?! No!
Nicky: (Pulls Dwyla aside) Lemme talk to you over here a second. This guy's hiding something. We'll do the good cop bad cop routine on him. You be the good cop.
JeanClod: Okay.
Dwight: You know, I can hear you -
JeanClod: Shut up!
Nicky: What are you doing?
JeanClod: Telling him to shut up.
Nicky: You're the good cop. You just go for donuts and coffee. I am the bad cop. I say who shuts up and when.
JeanClod: Oh. Go right ahead.
Characters (may be played with as few as 6 actors)
- Mamie VanderHogan Karrie Mae distributor of kitchen products. Native of Upper Midland, Wisconsin. Thinks she's won $11 Million in the Pigeon Publishing Sweepstakes because the envelope said "You are guaranteed to win $11 million." Tacky evening wear and big hair with handbag full of possible weapons.
- Dwight VanderHogan Sales rep for Wisconsin lightning rod company. Ambitious. Fish out of water. Loud dresser - powder blue tux. Motility problem - NOT low sperm count. Committed insurance fraud using his 102 yr old Wisconsin neighbor, Ellard Horton (who recently died in a wood chipper accident) to keep Mamie believing they'd won the sweepstakes.
- Nicky Spillene Local Private Detective, posing as a journalist for a "major" publication. He's been assigned to shadow Dwight regarding suspected insurance fraud, and possibly the murder of Ellard. Secretly dating Dwyla; oblivious to the fawning of his secretary. Doesn't know who contacted the agency - looking for someone who knows the "password."
- Tuesday Fulbright P.I.'s Secretary, posing as a photographer. Frequently takes photos the wrong way and blinds herself with the flash. Is always saying, "Cross my heart and hope to die." Desperately in love with her boss, Nicky.
- Dwyla Robinson The event's party planner, Dwight's ex-wife, and Nicky's current Girlfriend. Originally from Wisconsin. Getting a divorce from current wealthy gambling husband, he's lost all his money, short selling oil stocks, and she is on the verge of living in a trailer park in Irwindale. Tells party guests to pretend they are celebrities to fool Mamie and Dwight. Wears over the top Beverly Hills leopard and leather.
- Jean Clod / Kiki Van der Hogan's newly hired Servant/Maid (so he gets twice the pay) and Kiki's Identical Twin. Worked for Dwyla before divorce. Always calls her "Mrs. Robinson." Knows Dwyla is broke. Wears catering jacket as JC, French maid outfit as Kiki. Contacted insurance company regarding potential fraud - trying to give the "password."
- CopStandard issue cop helps solve the murder.
- Claude Wrage (Optional) Deejay, and recent parolee, indebted to Dwyla for unknown (at least unspecified) reasons, probably being blackmailed.
 I have additional questions about your scripts.
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